Reality?
by Lyra Kamiya
Summary: *Parody of Hoku's I'm Scared* What's Rika running from... and can anyone save her?


Here I am, for some strange reason, wearing a purple vest and violet lensed sunglasses ^_^' my god what have I come to?  
This is the first Digimon story I've written in a long time, it's my first Tamers thing period, so *please* read but don't flame. ^_^' oh and it's a Rukya, or at least I think that's what you'd call it… or do most people use Lee for the name 'cause that's what he's called? I dunno, I'm clueless…

**Reality?**

Parody of Hoku's "I'm Scared"

By Lyra of The Edge

~~I'm not sure where we stand anymore  
~~I've got one foot in my life,  
~~and the other's out the door  
~~And I can't believe this is happening to me…~~

Another day, another tough battle and near-miss victory. It wouldn't last forever… that was clear. Any one of these days, they wouldn't be so lucky. They would have lost if it hadn't been for a lot of luck, and a lot of determination from Takato and Calumon… Henry knew that one of these days, it would all come crashing down on them. They couldn't win them all; even the good guys had to loose sooner or later. He wasn't sure if Takato had come to that realization, but he knew Rika had… She'd almost lost Renamon twice now, and it had changed her… They'd all been taking turns searching for Impmon all week. There was no telling where he'd disappeared to… or even if he was still in existence… Could he really call it alive? Digimon obviously had personalities, and forms, but were they truly alive? So many questions… 

That was Henry's problem. He was always thinking. And right now what, or rather who, he was thinking about was Rika. She'd changed more than anyone could see over the time since they'd become Tamers. She still wouldn't open up to anyone, but just the same, Henry could tell she was different. He didn't know why… he'd learned to read those things in people… The smallest differences, in personality or emotion, he could see in most people. Takato was the exception, he was always so enthusiastic that it was hard to tell what he was thinking… Or even if he was…

But Rika, no, he could tell everything on her, whether she wanted him or anyone else to or not. She was so intriguing to him… She tried so hard to cover up what she really felt constantly, though it was still so obvious always what she really was feeling… Why was the only thing Henry hadn't figured out… And that only made him more curious. There was a subtle beauty and kindness about her, underneath it all… He couldn't help but watch her as they all wandered back to the little shed-like structure in the park that they'd adopted as their semi-headquarters…

~~Deep inside I wanted to believe  
~~That somehow, maybe someday,  
~~There'd be someone there for me  
~~And I hope I haven't lost my chance…~~

Wait, what was he thinking? He was watching and observing a girl who'd tried to kill his Digimon before… But that felt like years ago by now… She cared about Digimon, at least, by now. She'd been so concerned about Impmon earlier, though she'd obviously only shown the tip of the iceberg of her concern. And she'd looked so funny as she sulked after he'd commented on her caring…. _Why are girls always cute when they're angry_, he thought, then stopped himself… There he was going again… that was it, he had to say something. He was in too deep not to at least talk to her without the interruptions Takato and their Digimon provided. 

He reached out and set his hand on her shoulder…

__

What am I getting myself into?

Rika spun around as Henry tapped her on the shoulder. For a brief moment her eyes were wide with terror, clearly wondering who or what had just touched her… but upon seeing Henry the expression immediately went back to her typical calm, almost snide look. "What is it?" she demanded.

"Can I talk to you for a minute? Just you and me?" he said softly. Her face softened into a questioning look.

~~I don't want to wake up to the reality,  
Of you not being here with me  
There's so many possibilities  
That we let slip away~~

"I guess…" she shrugged. "Renamon, go do whatever you want…" she looked at her fox-type Digimon partner quickly, before she disappeared off to… wherever she liked to go. Terriermon was too busy playing with Takato and Giulmon to notice anyway, so he was essentially gone as well. Henry led her off the trail a little, to a bench in the trees… "So what's up?"

"Nothing really… I just sort of needed a break and thought you might be able to appreciate one too…" he said quietly. He knew he was making it too obvious that he was hiding something, but… he hoped maybe she could tell hi what he was hiding… he wasn't really certain…

"That's it? Hmmm…" she shook her head in an almost convincing mock disgust. Henry laughed and smiled at her. "What?" she demanded, sneering at him.

"Nothing, just… how you always pretend to be so serious…"

"Hey, I'm not pretending anything!" she jumped up and glared at him. Their eyes locked, unwavering, as she tried her best to maintain a death stare. Henry just smiled slightly and waved his hand towards the seat she'd been sitting in. She continued the look as she sat down beside him once more. _What's with this guy? He doesn't scare like the others all do…_

"You don't have to be so serious, you know… People would like you a lot more if you could just be calm and kind to more of them… I know you can be, I saw it today…"

"That's not who I want to be, though…" she pulled out her sunglasses and put them on, a sure sign to Henry that she was nervous… But about what? "I… I don't care what anybody else thinks about me… Renamon cares, and that's enough. I don't need anyone else to care about me."

"You may not need it… but what do you want?"

~~And if your heart could speak  
What would it say?~~

"Don't ask me that, Henry."

"And why not?"

"I'm not really sure what the answer is. Uncertainty is a sign of weakness…" Rika snarled in obvious disgust of the entire concept of emotion.

"It's a sign you're human, just like any other emotion." Henry corrected her. "I'm uncertain about things a lot… Even about whether or not I'm going to survive until tomorrow…" he looked over at her to see if she was going to respond to his comment. She was refusing to look up now…

"I just can't stand it… Emotions are too complicated, it takes simplicity and careful planning to be a winner…Who needs joy, sadness, anger, jealousy, love…? Calm and fury are all that's needed…"

"Then if all those are useless, why are you crying?"

~~You're scared, you're scared, you're scared, you're scared, you're scared,  
~~To say you love me…~~

"I'm not!" she shot back, looking at him in an image of fury at his suggestion. Beneath her violet sunglasses her eyes shimmered… the lenses were identical in color to her eyes, so it was impossible to see most the form of her eyes, but the tracks of tears down her cheeks were clear enough. 

"I know you think no one understands you, Rika… but can I at least try?"

She sat still, debating her next move. Half of her wanted to run into the woods to avoid further confrontation… The rest of her viewed this as a potential threat, and wanted to fight against it… Somewhere inside she wanted to just break down crying and forget the whole thing, why she wasn't sure… she wouldn't give in to any of them, though… so there she remained.

__

I… can't move, she commanded herself._ I can't give in to anything,_ she narrowed her eyes at him and sneered… Attempted too… but his words were beginning to sink in, not just the last line, but everything… And getting angry wasn't a response to his question, not too mention it was giving in to one of the impulses she'd had. It was clear she'd have to give in to something. Though… "Go ahead, if you really want to try," she hissed suddenly, then stood up and started to walk away. 

~~I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared…  
~~Will you always stay?  
~~You don't have to run away…~~

She heard him standing up behind her and him take a step forward, and with that, she took off running. 

"Wait, Rika!" Henry yelled as she bolted off. He started running after her instantly, hoping that his training was enough for him to catch up to her, when she was clearly running at top speed. "Will you just stop and listen to me?!" she gave him no answer. He ran faster still, and managed to catch up to her. He turned towards her, still running to keep up with her. "Alright, I didn't want to have to do this… I just hope no one gets injured," he said, pushing himself to the side in a successful effort to tackle her and stop her advance. Her sunglasses fell to the side as they both rolled to the ground…

~~I wish I could believe in what I feel…  
~~I've been fooled so many times before-  
~~I don't know what is real  
~~And maybe I'm just fooling myself…~~

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded of him, tucking her arms over her chest in a ready position to push him off at any second. She glared up at Henry, who had pinned her down by putting his hand next to her shoulders and one knee on her stomach, the other to her side.

"Trying to calm you down," he answered slowly, trying to avoid any tone of anger in his voice. "You're ready to fight, you've got your fists up, why don't you make your next move?" he questioned. Rika stared up at him silently for a moment.

"That's what you'd expect though… I underestimated you before, when I thought I could run away," she explained, rolling her head towards the side to avoid eye contact with him.

"So what is your next move going to be?" Henry sighed and shook his head. "I don't think it was me you were running away from there, Rika…" he paused, looking at her face as she finally looked back up. "I'm not getting up until you tell me what you were really running away from. We could be here all afternoon if you'd like, I've got strong arms and no where to be." He stared down into her eyes, waiting for a response. 

~~I've been running all the reasons to let go  
~~Tried opening up my feelings,   
~~but your door is always closed  
~~and I find myself… dreaming my life away…~~

It was nerve-wracking to him, being that close to her face while she obviously wasn't going to be getting up any time soon. But he held his ground, avoiding loosing his focus on her eyes for fear he'd loose all focus.

She still wasn't answering. Rika's head was spinning as she struggled to answer his question. She thought it *had* been him she'd been running away from… But so far he'd been right about everything that day, whether she wanted to admit it or not. It felt so strange… he was just hovering above her, his eyes fixated on hers. She'd lost so much of her train of though by this moment in time that she couldn't bear the silence surrounding her. Or was it the fact that it wasn't total silence that bugged her? She looked back up at him; he was still staring into her eyes… _He probably just hopes it'll make me crack,_ she lied to herself. But she couldn't lie to herself, she knew that as annoying as she wanted it to feel, she still wanted him to be that captivated with her, for good or for bad. She could hear his breathing now, too… also quite unnerving to her as she tried to regain her composition. He seemed almost unwilling to blink… He felt closer than earlier, though she knew he wasn't… she couldn't take this.

She held her breath and closed her eyes as, much to both her own and Henry's shock, she thrust her head upwards and set her lips firmly but gently on his for an instant. The next, she tore her head to the side and shoved him off violently, rolling over and jumping up to run behind the shelter of a tree.

~~I don't want to wake up to the reality,  
~~Of you not being here with me  
~~There's so many possibilities  
~~That we let slip away~~

"Ok, I'll admit, I wasn't expecting that…" Henry said, startled at the supposedly emotionless girls sudden actions. "Rika… I think this helps, but it still doesn't tell me what you're running from…" he approached her cautiously, holding out her sunglasses. "You can have these back if you want them," he smiled weekly. Rika was just sitting there, back against the tree, eyes closed, and one hand over her mouth. He sat down in front of her, waiting calmly for her decision.

"It's not you, not you at all, Henry…" she whispered.

"I think that's the first time you've ever said my name," he responded. True, but he'd been meaning it mostly just to lighten up the moment.

~~And if your heart could speak  
~~What would it say?  
~~You're scared, you're scared, you're scared, you're scared, you're scared,  
~~To say you love me…~~

"It's the fear… that you'll only be the first, that you'll desert me, like my dad left mom… and that I'll turn into her…"

"But fear is an emotion too," Henry smirked.

"I DON'T CARE," she shot back, pulling her hand back from her face for the first time the whole conversation. "I know it is, but I've got so many other emotions right now that I don't care..."

"Look Rika, I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but I _do_ really care about you. The last thing I'd want to do would be hurt you. And I think-"

~~I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared…  
~~Will you wanna stay?  
~~Or will you run away…~~

"For goodness sakes, don't say 'I think'!" Rika shouted, interrupting him. "Uncertainty is a sign of weakness, in not just a person, but anything…" she lowered her voice to a whisper as she completed the statement.

"Rika?"

"Just say it. Tell me what you're thinking… You're certain of it, you're only acting uncertain so it won't hurt as much if I don't agree. But…" she looked up at him. 

~~You're scared, you're scared, you're scared, you're scared, you're scared,  
~~To say you love me…  
~~I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared…  
~~You don't have to worry, no…  
~~Cause I'm running out of reasons to say no…~~

"I will. Even the harshest of warriors has someone to come home too," she added softly.

"Then you won't run away again, if I tell you?" she shook her head slowly and he stood up, offering her his hand for her to do the same. "Then I'll say it. I love you," he smiled.

"I guess I love you too…"

"What about the uncertainty thing?" Henry scolded her.

"Just wanted to make sure you've been paying attention to something other than my eyes," she scolded back, then stared at him for a moment. "So… what now?"

~~I don't want to wake up to the reality,  
~~Of you not being here with me  
~~There's so many possibilities  
~~That we let slip away~~

"Whatever you want," Henry shrugged, "Although that wasn't much of a kiss back there," he looked at her from the corner of his eye knowingly. "But I know you're not into physical contact outside of kicks in the stomach."

"I might be able to get used to it… just, not in public. And definently not in front of Goggle-head…" she rolled her eyes.

"I don't think you've ever said his name either," Henry added.

"Henry? If I say I'll go ahead and kiss you again, will it get you to shut up?" Rika glared at him, but smiling for a change.

"Mayb-" he was cut off by her carrying out the said action by pushing him up against a tree and pressing her self to him in one swift action. But this time, she wasn't going to push him away any time soon…

~~I don't want to wake up to the reality,  
~~Of you not being here with me  
~~There's so many possibilities  
~~That we let slip away~~

"Hey, Rika… Did you hear something?" Henry asked, looking around the side of her head.

"Like what?"

"I dunno, it didn't sound to good though, more like a cat with a hairball…" they both scanned the surrounding area.

"So I guess all humans have that for their special attack?" Calumon said curiously, staring at them from atop Guilmon's head. Takato stood beside them, looking near-ill.

"Goggle-head, go away!" Rika sighed, letting her head rest against Henry's shoulder. _I'm not ready to leave this yet…_

~~I don't want to wake up to the reality…~~

Ok, I'm afraid I was high off coconut hand sanitizer for half of that, which may explain the (At least I think they are) OOC-ness in there, but I'm hoping it's not as bad as I think. so Review, onegai! Tell me especially if you think I should re-do without the song and with it longer! Domo arigato, ja ne to heiwa! Ai Lyra-chan.


End file.
